Quotes Of The Day TrendyVoice

8 June 2016

Quotes Of The Day




StingerXpress Quotes Of The Day.
Credit~ Franklin Agochukwu


•1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey
that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of
selling condoms to a Roman father.

•2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a
happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you,
you should stop breastfeeding him.

•3. He who swallows a complete coconut have
absolute trust in his anus.

•4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text
you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you
are not an umbrella.

•5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.

•6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you
don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's
called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR
MILK!

•7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every
time you take a piece from her hair to the witch
doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad
or a factory in China catches fire.

•8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If
that was God's plan, then you would receive your
penis or vagina on your wedding day.

•9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW
BATTERY.

•10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the
act was learnt in childhood when they were young
but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?

•11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your
life, the Devil comes along and gives you a
'girlfriend'.

•12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves,
you don't take a goat as a friend.

•13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your
life and still single, you are not different from a
Canopy.

•14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is
when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw
adidas lines on your face.

•15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about
inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-
rays to see inner beauty.

•16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy
walking around with evidence that you've had sex.

•17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5
minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you
for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one
week crusade.

•18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3
girlfriend left me for another boy all because he
bought a sharpener wid a mirror.

•19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than
being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's
extremely good in bed.

•20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot
jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last
for 1 hour in bed.

•21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst
thing ever; because anytime you get home and see
charcoal, you become emotional.

•22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your
private parts will suffer the most.

•23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a
neighbour's soup gets suspicious.

•24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money
because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a
hole she didn't drill.

•25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve
instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex
marriage.

•26. If you are a married man and you find yourself
attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school
uniform.

•27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's
pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line.

•28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would
receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's
nothing as such any-longer because it'll have already
been given out as a Birthday gift, token of
Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection,
Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

•29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the
part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your
face tomorrow.

•30. We are living in a generation where people "in
love" are free to touch each others' private parts but
cannot touch each others' phones because they're
private."

•31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent
money on rather than send it to your mum and you
realise witchcraft is real.

•32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow
marriage for same-sex couples in my country
(Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him
first.

•33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead
white man but won't even attempt to slap a live one.
Yet they can stone to death a black man simply
because he's a foreigner.

•34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes
which can take them back quicker than the ships
used by their ancestors.

•35. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown's sense of
human rights precludes our people's right to their
God-given resources, which in their view must be
controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator
because I have rejected this supremacist view and
frustrated the neo-colonialists.

•36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of
paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other
end.

•37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach
and still wants to flatulate.

•38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a
great time to retire as a President.
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this
question or is it just for African leaders?

•39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding
the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Robert: Where are they going?

•40. My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie stick
when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.




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